5 things I have learnt during my pregnancy journey

As I type this, I am now coming up to 31 weeks pregnant. We found out really early on after deciding to come off contraception after 15 years. 2 weeks later, we got pregnant and I found out at 5 weeks. I feel extremely lucky and thankful that this happened as quickly as it did, especially after knowing so many people who have struggled with fertility. I almost kind of feel guilty…but this is a blog for another time.

My pregnancy journey has been an amazing experience and I am embracing every moment. I have had no symptoms and have just felt really positive and great. This is not me here bragging or showing off, this is me being honest about my journey and how every pregnancy can be so extremely different.

It is a huge life change, I still at 31 weeks sometimes forget, until I get a small foot or elbow to the ribs which reminds me that yes, there is a small human growing inside me.

I have learnt a lot about myself on this journey and also other people too. I have learnt that people have no filter and often personal boundaries seem to disappear, I have also learnt that even though she isn’t here yet, that lioness protective instinct has already kicked in…like the time on Holiday in July where I nearly punched a woman for pushing me out of the way to get on the bus… I do not condone violence but I know you’re with me on this one momma.

So here I am sharing 5 things I have learnt about life, myself and other people since becoming pregnant:

1. People have no filter

I did already know this, I already knew people can be rude or make inappropriate comments, but it really has become apparent to me even more so since being pregnant. I remember sharing our very exciting news with people and to be honest, for the most part, it was all very positive and everyone was overwhelmed. But you always have those people who just can’t help themselves. Mood hoovers, negative Nancy’s, whatever you like to call them.

“All that time you have spent in the gym, your body won’t be same now, you’ll never get it back once baby is here”.

“You do know that because you have had such a great pregnancy, your labour is probably going to be horrendous”.

“Your bump is quite big/small for how far you are…are they growing ok?”.

You’re probably reading this and can really resonate with me. You probably have had unnecessary comments that just feel really inappropriate and not sure what to respond. I think from training as a Hypnobirthing teacher and sharing ways to keep positive thoughts around pregnancy, labour and birth has really helped me. I have been able to wrap myself in a cloak of protection and politely remove myself from conversations. I am here to tell you, whether pregnant or not, you have every right to tell someone to P**s off and mind their own!

2. Personal boundaries and space seem to disappear – e.g., strangers making a b-line for the bump.

What is it about strangers and bump touching? Even my close friends and family ask if they can have a little feel or a cuddle of bump and I am absolutely fine with that. However, when popping into Sainsburys, minding your own business and Barbara comes over like she’s known you all her life, asking when you’re due, trying to guess the gender and trying to rub your belly like the genie is about to pop out and grant her three wishes, this is not ok. I mean in any other walks of life is it ok to walk up to a random person and just rub a body part? I think not. Can you imagine…

Sorry Barbara, personal boundaries need to be put into place here, I know you mean well and it is lovely for you to show such an interest, but please keep your hands firmly on your trolley.

3. Not everyone will share your pregnancy journey excitement and that’s ok.

I think this was a hard one for me to come to terms with at first. It’s such an exciting thing and you want to share it with the world, with your nearest and dearest, but what I have come to realise is that not everyone will or can be happy for you and once you are at peace with that, you realise that it’s ok. Everyone is fighting a battle or going through their own problems and as much as I was so excited and just wanted everyone else to be, there were some people who just didn’t share that feeling with me. It doesn’t make them a bad person or that they aren’t happy for me, it’s just something they have to deal with in their own time. At first, I took this very personally and sometimes felt really guilty, that’s normal of course, but over time I have learnt that it’s ok but I have also not let it take away from my special journey and magical milestone in my life. I want to embrace this time and look forward to everything to come. I choose happiness.

4. Pregnancy can be quite a lonely journey – it’s important to find your village.

I am self-employed, so life is quite lonely anyway. The long days, the late nights, the constant on your laptop or phone creating content, replying to emails, chasing leads. You think of self-employed life and think great, so much free time to do what you want. In a sense yes this is true, but when you are self-employed, you don’t have work friends to nip out for a lunch with, or have a natter in the office kitchen. It can be quite lonely. I have 2 groups of friends, those who have settled and have a family already, and those who are single and have no children, having both sets of friendship groups are great and I love spending time with both of them, but at the same time I feel like I am in limbo at the moment and often feel like I don’t belong to a group. I don’t have my baby yet and so I am not at a stage where I am going to mum groups and meeting new people, I am still working, building my business and working all hours, but I am also no longer going out on weekends and doing things I used to do a few years ago. I am absolutely grateful for the friends in my life, the ones who check in who get it. I suppose once baby girl is here, I may feel like I “belong” somewhere. But I also realise it’s on me too to reach out and make the time to build up my village of people. I think it’s one thing that worries me about being a new mum when it’s just you out of your friendship group, for so long I have been Hannah, Wife and Business owner but now I am adding mum to my titles and it’s a bit daunting to say the least!

5. I am embracing a new me and it’s not as scary as I thought it would be.

People always asked me if I wanted children and my response would always be “I’m not sure”. I really wasn’t sure at all. I love children, I love my friends’ children and I love spending time with them but I just wasn’t sure if it was something I could see in my future. I wasn’t sure I had that maternal instinct.

In 2017, me and my now husband made the decision to get a puppy. We did all the research and found an amazing breeder in Shropshire of a litter of Sproodles. We had a 5 hour round trip to visit this litter of puppies. I remember seeing this litter of small, little innocent balls of fluff and I instantly took a shining to one. I fell in love. We put a deposit down on him and from that moment I knew there was some kind of maternal being inside.

4 weeks later we went to collect him. I remember getting in the car and just crying because I loved him so much. He has been such a huge part of my life and has taught me a lot about responsibility. We had to adapt our lives around this new little furry ball of fluff and from that day my opinion on having children changed.

I still wasn’t sure when that time would be, if it would actually be or how It would all unfold but I knew when the time felt right, I would know.

My life for the last 5 or 6 years has evolved around me, my husband, Alfie dog, my business, our house reno and the gym. We have enjoyed some wonderful holidays; city breaks and a generally care free life. So, in April of this year, when that Clearblue said 2-3 weeks pregnant. I went into a bit of panic mode. Also, because in 2 days we would be flying to NYC and I would have to say goodbye of my visions of drinking cosmos on roof top bars all night like Carrie Bradshaw, instead I would be having to swap them out for mocktails and possible early nights.

We still had an amazing time and created some beautiful memories with a 5-week little bean in tow.

The biggest obstacle I knew I had to face was my changing body. I have always struggled with body image, especially when I was younger. At one point, not actually so long ago, I had quite an unhealthy relationship with exercise and food.

After 3 years of returning to university to study nutrition and gaining my PT qualification, my attitude to exercise and food changed. I became more knowledgeable and found a new love for the gym. I gained so much confidence, I built my strength and finally found a happy place with my body.

So, when I found out I was pregnant, one of my immediate thoughts went to my changing body and the gym! Which is so sad when I say it out loud.

However, I have found that I have completely embraced this pregnancy, I love my changing body and I am grateful for what it can do. I started swimming 3 times a week and continued Pilates and daily dog walks and have really loved seeing my body change and grow to house this little person who is thriving and growing every day! I haven’t hidden my bump away; I have been proud to show her off!

I am embracing this new body and this new me and I hope to take this into my post pregnancy journey and fully embrace this new life I am about to embark on!

I really hope that this blog has resonated with some of you. I wanted to share some personal thoughts as I’m sure many of you have had similar experiences.

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Love always,

Hannah xx